Hi friends, Carrie here!
I saw a post from @joylenz on Instagram, and it really stopped me in my tracks and think. What do you think would happen if you were outright completely honest today? (I’m using some of her words and paraphrasing and adding some of my own)
Hear me out. This doesn’t mean that you have to verbalize everything that comes to your mind and that you should be kind (because can we agree that “kind” is very different than “nice”?)
But what if you just didn’t fake it, not one thing? What if you were 100% honest today? I’ve really been trying to embrace living this way because I’ve habitually been the people pleaser, the peacekeeper, the “yes” woman. I think so many of us have a fear of being disliked, overlooked or left out.
Think about this….
What if you’re exhausted because you are juggling too much between work, family, self care, home, and you are building resentment? We are always being asked to stay late at work, go to all school activities, go out for company dinners, come over to your friend’s house Saturday night, volunteer for this and that, etc. If you stopped pretending like you were fine and not overwhelmed, you might learn pretty quickly who your real friends and supporters are or what your priorities are. You might also discover what part of your ego is driving you to constantly sacrifice yourself in order to be approved of. Any light bulbs going off?
If you feel that you are being taken advantage of or manipulated in some way….what if, instead of playing the game of niceties and going along with it, you kindly speak up and share what you feel? Ask them to be honest about their own position so that you both can come to a true solution. We’ve all been in these situations whether it is in a relationship, at work, within organizations, and in friendships. More lightbulbs?
Is it scary to do this? Of course, it can be! You’re scared that people will get offended that you’re not playing the game, even if you are kind in speaking up. Often times we settle into the unspoken expectations and end up in a place where we feel trapped or unsettled. I think this tends to be particularly true for women. Be honest about what you’re doing and ask yourself if you are being authentically you.
So what if you were 100% honest today? What if, out of an abundance of humility, yet knowing your worth, without apology, yet maintaining empathy for how your directness may be hard for another person…you just said “Well, I’ll be honest…”?